You cannot teach humans anything. You can only help them discover it within themselves.
This quote has a very special meaning to me and I hope that you recall it as you read this blog series. I am not teaching you anything in this series. I am offering possibility to explore and discover answers that will work best for you.
I want one thing for you; b.limitless in your life. To do so, I believe we need to look closely at professional presence.
Let’s begin with the definition of one major component, to ensure we are all on the same page about confidence:
Confidence can be described as a belief in one's ability to succeed. Striking a healthy balance can be challenging. Too much of it and you can come off as cocky and stumble into unforeseen obstacles, but having too little can prevent you from taking risks and seizing opportunities—in school, at work, in your social life, and beyond.
- Psychology Today
What stops you from being unlimited in your life? Your life is a unique book filled with chapters of each unique journey in your life. Who decides what path you take? What influences your decisions? What is your belief in your ability to author your life?
Early in our lives, we rely on our parents and other authority figures to share their values and perspectives. Rules to live by, so to speak. Some are based on long traditions, religion, race or ethnicity. For the most part this process is necessary for us to develop as a human being within a society. What happens as we grow older and begin to get exposed to foreign (other) experiences? Our experiences may be a result of moving away for college, taking a new position, or meeting someone you love who will take you into a different environment.
You are now faced with forging new patterns of behaviors that either co-exist or in conflict with what you have been doing most of your life. I suspect this is truly a cause to begin doubting your abilities. I refer to this as a lack of confidence. It is not meant to imply you are not confident as a whole. Confidence must manifest itself for each unique situation or circumstance.
Here is an example. Felix is a successful professional, an expert in his law practice. He wife asks him to build a new house. Will he be confident he can fulfill this request? Felix had experience in some aspects of building while working his way through school. Although rusty, he knows a bit about building a house. He has some choices to make. Will he hire someone to do the project? Will he hire someone to work with him, so that he can translate his wife desired outcome to a finished product? He is unlikely to stop working in his law practice in an attempt to build a home. His level of confidence will determine if he hands over the project or co-creates the project.
What would you do, if you were in his situation? What does this tell you about your confidence? This example is simple, yet very complex. As you think through your answer, consider what you know and don’t know. Roughly estimate the number of choices you must ultimately make a confident decision. What is the cost or risk if you cannot make a confident decision?
The blog series is pragmatic in nature. This example is actually how I formatted the series. There are three main sections; demolition, designing and construction of confidence. Each will present concepts then provide example via a fictional character and real questions for you to consider.
I will attempt to remove the stigma about lacking confidence and show you how this is merely a part of our journey as human beings. Here is the main reason to read this series. After each concept, I will offer up an inquiry for you to work on. As a professional coach, I wish for you to find the right answers from within.
This is not a how to series, nor an advice series. It is rather an investigation and exploration of what may be holding you back from achieving the life you desire. A life where you can b.limitless in your choices. In the end I hope to open you up to the possibilities in your life, a change in your perspective and an amazing professional career and life.
Not problems to be solved, rather mysteries to be lived.
- Sara Boas