Photo Oliver Hale on Unsplash
As we all adjust our lives during this COVID-19 pandemic, I am continually learning to appreciate so much of what my life means to me. Yes, many people are writing about how to cope. I want to share something positive that is happening to me and may be happening to you if you take a moment to notice.
A little backstory, I started traveling in the mid-90’s and found I needed help taking care of my home. I hired cleaners. As the decades passed, I found that it was worth every penny to have someone come in on a regular basis to clean my house. For me to clean, it can take days. I am a person who gets things done (commonly known in business as a high performer). This means that when I clean it is an all or nothing approach and it means it is done to the highest standards. Please note, I don’t hold others to the same standard.
Well, as you may have guessed having people come into my home during a pandemic is not the wisest of choices. Therefore, I am cleaning my own home now. The first time, I did what I typically do. I got to work, and every task multiplied. I was driven to clean perfectly.
The second time I cleaned the house, I asked “Alexa” to play some classic rock. Here I am with cleaning supplies in hand and music blaring from my little “Alexa” speaker. I find myself at first swaying to the old songs from my high-school years. Then whispering the words. Then singing out loud, to the horror of anyone in hearing distance. I truly can’t carry a note. It is not pleasant to hear me sing.
I didn’t care. I was amazed that I remembered so many of the songs. I was cleaning the entire time in a more relaxed manner. I found my mind going back in time. I remembered events and faces of my past. I remembered how I felt, how I acted and who I was during the time this music was popular. I was living in the moment, open to what was with no expectations of what could be or should be.
BANG, it hit me! I realized that I have been working for the last few years on finding my way to “being” rather than the 30+ years I spent “doing” to have a career. The high performer trait of “doing” regardless of what it meant to who I was or what I wanted for myself.
As coach, we are challenged to experience the same things we ask of our clients. I intellectually know that my identity is not tied to what I “do”, rather it is related to who I am “being”.
In that moment, deep into cleaning my house, I found that I once knew and embraced “being”. I was not always a “doer”. I found that lost sense of my own experience regarding the state of “being”.
As Bob Seger sang, “Turn the page”, I realized somewhere along the line I didn’t turn the page, I shut the book. I turned off my sense of self. I became about getting stuff done.
“Old tools (thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, habits) must break down or break apart to make room for new tools to emerge. Personal mastery calls for embracing the breakdown in order to break through to the next level.” - inviteCHANGE
With the help of my own coach, I was already self-aware that I was stuck in old beliefs. Any new insight would not have been possible without all the previous work I had done. I was able to breakthrough in that moment to see what was possible again. I now have a reference to call upon to return to a state of “being” when I find that my state of “doing” is not supporting my intention to be my best self.
The coaching journey is not a straight line. It is not a predefined set of steps to follow. It takes a serious exploration of oneself, which allows for breakthroughs to live into who we truly are meant to be. It leads us to our fullest potential through our own personal journey.
I could not have guessed this is how I would find my breakthrough. Working with my clients, they want to know at what point they will have the answers they seek. The answers only emerge once we can identify what is holding us back -- what needs to break down and be replaced in our behaviors. Then we have the space to allow for breakthroughs. How it happens is often mysterious to us. As we make the journey, we have the opportunity to grow into our full potential.